Two months?!

This might sound silly, but I only just realized that I have two months and twelve days until baby girls due date.

PANIC MODE

I'm starting to get pretty stressed about getting everything we need, getting her room all set up, picking a name, becoming mentally prepared...oh, and pushing a human out of me. Yea, I'd say I'm particularly nervous about that last part.

So Jordan and I decided last night that now is the time to put our efforts and budget toward getting ready for the baby.

One nice thing about living out here is that there are tons of nice fairly new baby stuff for sale on craigslist. So many people here only have one or two kids, so they have no need to hang on to all the clothes, toys, furniture, and baby gear. It's also usually a really nice brand too. Already we got a crib off craigslist for free. I've been looking, and there are. Bunch of people selling all of their baby clothes together for about $.50 an item. That us going to suit our budget much better than buying everything new. If we can get a ton of day and night time outfits off craigslist, I can go and get the little dresses at baby gap that taunt me everytime I see them.

Thankfully I'm nearly done with the paintings I wanted to finish before the baby came. I haven't made a ton of headway on the watercolors I'm doing for the baby's room, but I thing I'll be able to get everything done.

Still. Pretty nervous. Also excited, but right now mostly nervous.

:'(

K I'm really sorry, but I'm going to complain some more. I'm typing this on the tiny keys if my itouch, because today my computer died. It would cost between $300-$700 to fix, and we decided not to fix it for the following reasons:

That is a lot of money that we need for the baby and other stuff

We have been planning on getting a new iMac around Christmas anyways

My Mac was five years old-pretty old for a computer

I'm still really sad though. I have an external hard drive, so I didn't lose anything important...but I loved my computer! I don't know that using my iPod to view reference photos for art projects will work as well.

Jordan's computer died when we moved, but he does have one for work. My dad has offered to send me a thinkpad that he currently doesn't need, and he will put Linux on it for me. I'm really grateful for that... It hasn't been a full day but I'm already starting to realize how dependent I am on having a computer.

I felt like such a spoiled brat, crying over losing my Mac, but I just cry over everything these days.

On my way home from the apple store I got myself some "I'm sad and pregnant" food. I should never go to the store when I'm hungry and hormonal, this is what I end up getting:

Mac & cheese
Ice cream
Double stuft Oreos
Funsize candy bars

I have hardly touched any of it, the emotions and craving passed...but this week is another business trip week, so now I'm at least stocked up.

Being a Hermit and Imma Complain a Ton

Guyz. Jordan is on a business trip. Which means that I am alone all the time.

It hasn't been that bad...but he only left yesterday. He is in Georgia, and he will get back Thursday night. But then next Monday...he leaves AGAIN. This time for New Orleans. He will be gone for the same amount of time.

These are the things I have decided I need to do every day to stay sane.

Shower

Change clothes

Have somewhat normal meal times

Leave the apartment building

Sounds so simple, but when you know you aren't going to have any human contact, it is hard to convince yourself to put forth the effort.

The main problem with him traveling is that I am still working on making friends here. I feel really comfortable hanging out with couples in our ward...but I haven't branched out to individual hangouts yet. I guess I haven't had to make new friends in so long I am having a hard time remembering how. I feel a little uncomfortable thinking about asking someone to hang out with me during the day. Most of the women I have met have at least one kid, so I know that they are busy with that and have routines and stuff. I'm probably being way too self conscious about this, and should just ask someone to hang out with me. But that is so much easier said than done (for me).

This is what I miss the most about Provo. We knew so many people. I really miss my job at the MOA. I liked what I did, and I had great co workers that made it so much fun. Jordan and I both had a ton of friends from our hometowns, cousins...plenty of people that I felt comfortable just calling or texting to do something.

I don't want to sound too "woe is me". I really do like it here. But I would be fooling myself if I didn't say that I get lonely sometimes. I totally do. I'm only now thinking about it though because Jordan isn't here so it's magnified by a billion.

Also making me feel it all the more are my raging pregnancy hormones. I have really been noticing the emotional roller coaster factor as of late. We were shopping over the weekend because Jordan needed new work clothes, and I don't fit into anything. I couldn't find anything that looked good with my giant belly, I was feeling stressed about spending money on clothes when we just bought a bed and have plenty of other things to save for, and before I could even try to calm myself down I burst into tears in the middle of the store. I felt so stupid and Jordan felt like a jerk, even though he did nothing wrong and had nothing to do with me not finding any flattering clothing. He just always feels like it's his fault when I cry, which is sweet but problematic as I cry over everything these days.

I hate having a closet full of clothes that don't fit. And I hate the idea of spending money on clothes I will only wear for a couple months.

Babygirl is making herself at home in my abdomen, kicking my ribs and pressing agains my sciatic nerve. The rib kicking I will take, but the sciatica is awful and hurts really bad. She doesn't do it all the time, probably every couple days she will find her way there and and set up camp for the day.

Still working on names. Part of my outing today (to keep myself showered and sane) was going to Barnes and Noble to read some baby name books. I found some new names to add to the list, though I haven't ran these by Jordan yet so they might not be contenders. I haven't thought about then too much either, they just caught my eye. Here they are:

Mirabelle

Sadie

Zora

Viola

Adela

Nora

Maisie

Amelie

Everly

Elsa

Elsie

Mira

Adena

Arabel

Blossom

Arden

Estelle

Ugh. There are just too many options. I am worried I will never feel really excited about a name.

K. Enough complaining and getting stressed out about names. here, as promised, is a picture of mah baybee belleh. I don't think this picture does it justice.

Short update

But a longer update to follow, I promise. With a belly picture, because I'm getting huge and I'm sure everyone is super interested in how far my belly sticks out now. (Pretty far)

Looking at our budget and stuff the other day I realized I won't be able to get living room furniture for a while, sad face. For some reason I was emotionally attached to the idea of replacing our stake center (truly, directly from a stake center) couch and chair with some nicer seating as soon as possible. Now it is looking like it will probably be my Christmas present at the earliest. I mean, I guess we could go out today and get stuff, but we want to pay cash because it's just better all around to not buy things you don't have the money for. Stupid responsibility. Anyways, I am now working on making our living room awesome despite the worst couch ever.

I am also getting started on projects for BabyGirl. I want her room to be great, and I want to make her a lot of stuff myself so she always has it. I'll post pictures of the watercolors once they are in a condition to post.

Wisconsin is still nice. People in our ward have been great, and I finally printed some pictures from our wedding to put up.

The name list is getting longer. We both started really looking at name websites and stuff, and the list has expanded. It is going to get smaller with time, I don't want to go into the hospital with a list that is too huge. Here are some ideas we have, feel free to make suggestions!

Violet

Dahlia

Ruby (Jordan's favorite, but I don't think this is her name)

Lucy

Hazel

Isabel

Lola

Daisy

Aurora

Tallulah

Adah

Matilda

Adelle

There are definitely more, we have a list written down but I'm not sure where it is right now. Suggestions? Opinions? Any of these too easy for school kids to make fun of?