Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Being a Hermit and Imma Complain a Ton

Guyz. Jordan is on a business trip. Which means that I am alone all the time.

It hasn't been that bad...but he only left yesterday. He is in Georgia, and he will get back Thursday night. But then next Monday...he leaves AGAIN. This time for New Orleans. He will be gone for the same amount of time.

These are the things I have decided I need to do every day to stay sane.

Change clothes
Have somewhat normal meal times
Leave the apartment building

Sounds so simple, but when you know you aren't going to have any human contact, it is hard to convince yourself to put forth the effort.

The main problem with him traveling is that I am still working on making friends here. I feel really comfortable hanging out with couples in our ward...but I haven't branched out to individual hangouts yet. I guess I haven't had to make new friends in so long I am having a hard time remembering how. I feel a little uncomfortable thinking about asking someone to hang out with me during the day. Most of the women I have met have at least one kid, so I know that they are busy with that and have routines and stuff. I'm probably being way too self conscious about this, and should just ask someone to hang out with me. But that is so much easier said than done (for me).

This is what I miss the most about Provo. We knew so many people. I really miss my job at the MOA. I liked what I did, and I had great co workers that made it so much fun. Jordan and I both had a ton of friends from our hometowns, cousins...plenty of people that I felt comfortable just calling or texting to do something.

I don't want to sound too "woe is me". I really do like it here. But I would be fooling myself if I didn't say that I get lonely sometimes. I totally do. I'm only now thinking about it though because Jordan isn't here so it's magnified by a billion.

Also making me feel it all the more are my raging pregnancy hormones. I have really been noticing the emotional roller coaster factor as of late. We were shopping over the weekend because Jordan needed new work clothes, and I don't fit into anything. I couldn't find anything that looked good with my giant belly, I was feeling stressed about spending money on clothes when we just bought a bed and have plenty of other things to save for, and before I could even try to calm myself down I burst into tears in the middle of the store. I felt so stupid and Jordan felt like a jerk, even though he did nothing wrong and had nothing to do with me not finding any flattering clothing. He just always feels like it's his fault when I cry, which is sweet but problematic as I cry over everything these days.

I hate having a closet full of clothes that don't fit. And I hate the idea of spending money on clothes I will only wear for a couple months.

Babygirl is making herself at home in my abdomen, kicking my ribs and pressing agains my sciatic nerve. The rib kicking I will take, but the sciatica is awful and hurts really bad. She doesn't do it all the time, probably every couple days she will find her way there and and set up camp for the day.

Still working on names. Part of my outing today (to keep myself showered and sane) was going to Barnes and Noble to read some baby name books. I found some new names to add to the list, though I haven't ran these by Jordan yet so they might not be contenders. I haven't thought about then too much either, they just caught my eye. Here they are:


Ugh. There are just too many options. I am worried I will never feel really excited about a name.

K. Enough complaining and getting stressed out about names. here, as promised, is a picture of mah baybee belleh. I don't think this picture does it justice.


  1. YAY!!! Finally! Wish u lived closer so I could come be a Hermit with u! Miss u guys!

  2. Oh i wish we lived close, then we could be huge and miserable together (although, my belly is a bit larger than yours... people keep telling me they can see it grow daily--not a good sign for me).

    Barnes and Noble is a great place to hang out! Good luck with names. I also like walking around target--and planning future purchases. Oh and when you find maternity clothes that aren't completely hideous, let me know where, please!


    Also Zora is from Zelda, totes legit

  4. Oh man I love the name Nora, but I was also super into the Thin Man movies, so you know. There are worse namesakes though I think.

    I also really, really love Viola but nobody is going to pronounce it right ever.

    Anyway, call me. I'm in the throes of an honors thesis rather than a pregnancy but I could also use some diversion.

  5. i wish you were here too. i miss you! also, i LOVE Elsa. If you're not familiar with it, look up and listen to Elsa's procession to the Cathedral. I fell in love with that song in high school, and if you dont love it, no worries, but if you do, you should name the baby elsa. thats all. much love to you.